I had plans for margaritas and a movie with my friend Malisa. We have been doing this for years. We have done it less in the last couple of years because she was becoming a doctor of physical therapy and our schedules haven’t melded very well. We will probably do it less after July when she takes her big test and starts working. I work weekends, she won’t. It’s a bummer because we have a lot of fun catching up and then enjoying some ridiculous, or deep, or RDJ movie.
We had to move our plans because I got some extra work this afternoon. My practice at Optimum Health Therapeutic Massage is growing and being available for that is among my top priorities.
So tomorrow I’ll meet Malisa at On The Border and we will have margaritas and catch each other up and laugh and marvel at whatever situation is causing challenges in the life of the other. Then we will go to a movie. We’re going to see The Other Woman, no RDJ movies were available.
I took a short walk, because the timing of all of this was going to be close, but then plans changed so I picked up my book, made myself a salad (broccoli slaw, pickling cuke, toasted almonds, onion, celery, chicken, ham, homemade vinaigrette) for breakfast and planted myself on the deck.
And I thought, I would really like to eat a Snickers at the movie.
But I won’t do that because Malisa will be there.
Not that there is any particular reason not to eat a Snickers in front of Malisa, it won’t cause her any problem.
But I won’t do it.
Just like I won’t, generally, consume any of the sugar stuff I want to eat when I’m around friends. Maybe a little, sometimes, but not generally.
In the past it was because I just wanted to seem like everyone else, like sugar didn’t control my life. I would eat the four or five candy bars I might have in a day when no one else was around. I didn’t do that every day, but when I did do it, I was by myself.
Thinking about it today, it’s not shame that stops me from eating the Snickers in front of Malisa. Or some other similar sugar thing in front of someone else. And it isn’t because some people think of me as this healthfully focussed person that they can turn to for advice (because, shockingly, there are people who see me like that) and I don’t want them to see it, it isn’t because I care what people would think if they saw me eating some sugar thing.
Well, maybe it is a little of each of those things.
But mostly it’s because eating like a normal person, when I’m with other people, reinforces those choices - the ones I want to make - and it’s that much more time I’m not eating the crappy poison (aka refined sugar) that I don’t want to eat.
As I sat down on my deck I was thinking of sugary things in my house - marshmallows, Snickers, Chocolate Parfait Nips, and Black Cherry Clif Shot Bloks at the moment - and part of me wanted that. Sit down with a good book and enjoy the comfort of the poison.
Sounds kind of stupid doesn’t it? No judgement, it just sounds like a really bad plan.
Fortunately I chose differently. And let me tell you, that salad I described above? So delicious that I could have had a second buddha bowl of it. A buddha bowl being a largeish bowl good for a one bowl meal (everything to be consumed containable in that one space).
The thing is, I’m deeply in love with whole foods that are good for me. I don’t like a wide variety, but I try new things and add whatever I can. The other night my dad made this awesome stir fry - chicken, peppers, onion, garlic, carrots, cumin and lemon juice. It was shockingly tasty. And I’m not saying shockingly for effect, I was really shocked at how much I enjoyed this simple meal, I could have just kept on eating it, I had to force myself to stop.
When I’m eating sugar it takes a lot of effort to remember how much I like real, actual food. Which is why people help, even when they aren’t aware - it’s easy to remember to eat like a human being when people are around.
So thank you people, I appreciate you.