I got up and went to Masters Swim today. And let me tell you, that was tough - it’s 13 degrees with the wind making it feel like −6. It was very cozy under the covers and my kitty was very warm.
Then Bobby moved so I got out of bed, put on my swimsuit and ran to my car.
Cold. Very, very cold.
It was a tough workout. Even if I was in shape it would have been tough, lots of kicking. We were in the second to last set and I had to get out and go to the bathroom.
As I walked toward the doorway the teenage life guard smiled and said hi, or something like that, I don’t understand much in the echo chamber that is our pool. I smiled and said good morning.
And as I walked past him and out the door I thought, what must that cute young man thing of this old, chubby, dimply body? And then I thought, my body is the most beautiful body in the world. To me anyway. And that is all that matters.
My body is beautiful because it has carried me though 50 years of thoughtless treatment on my part. It has remained healthy despite my tendency toward self-abuse with sugar and junk food.
I believe I have made previous commitments, in writing, to treat my body the way it deserves. And then I don’t. I try, and then I have a mindless moment and I eat something comforting, familiar and deadly.
Yeah, I said it - deadly. Say what you will, think what you like - I know this processed sugar, fried, baked crap is deadly. It’s calories without nutrition and with chemicals that just shouldn’t be in food.
And yes, that would be me, chowing down on those crappy chemicals. When life is “perfect” it’s much easier to say no to that stuff, to eat only whole delicious foods that will sustain me. But when I’m stressed out, well you know the saying - stressed is desserts spelled backward.
When things are really rough it doesn’t even matter if I don’t like the sweet thing at hand. And things have been pretty rough lately. Which means desserts have been in abundance.
So I haven’t kept my word to my body. Which is really crappy.
But this time, walking down that really cold hallway in my wet bathing suit, deeply loving my body I thought, all I need to do is think - anytime I’m choosing something to eat - “my body is the most beautiful body in the world and I am going to treat it the way it deserves to be treated.”
Because it doesn’t matter what that teen-age boy might have been thinking, it doesn’t matter what anyone else may ever think. The only thinking that matters is the thinking I do before I put something in my mouth.
One little sentence before I eat? Even I can handle that.